Sitting on my bed trying to chill out before yoga. Today was a challenging day. Upset, angry clients expressing their frustration. It’s my job. I get it. I get paid pretty well for it too. But I’m a wuss. I crack under pressure. I feel powerless.
Yes I know, first world problems. At least I have a job. I wish I could harden my heart so this rubbish wouldn’t get to me. I know what I have to say to them. I know the limitations. But when they express the pressure on them, I feel it weighing down on me too. And I feel bad as if it’s my fault.
On Saturday, it was my mum’s birthday. We were meant to go down to the beach and have a mini family trip. But instead, I visited mum at home, helped my sister decorate a cake, watched Fantasic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald at the cinemas, and had hot pot for dinner. It was great. Spending time with my family is always awesome.
On Sunday, I had a Dragonboat regatta at Varsity lake. It was a gloomy-ass day, with constant rain and windy conditions. First race of the day was 2000m standard mixed. We placed 4th and our other team took 1st place. I sat at the back of the boat, as I’m still recovering from my injured shoulder. My physio team mate strapped it up for me before the race, but I’ve strained it even more this time round. It really sucks.
It just plain sucks. I’ve been in this sport for 3 years, and my shoulder has progressively gotten worse. My physio said that I have a subluxed shoulder. I’m inpatient, and now I’m paying for it.
I’ve just messaged my state coach that I’ve withdrawn my application for the tryouts next Saturday. Two steps forward, three steps back. That’s okay. I’ll keep moving forward, but more sensibly. Everyone keeps warning me to take it easy, as they have, or known someone, who’s had to get shoulder reconstruction, simply because they wouldn’t listen to their body.
Although I can’t train as I normally do, I’ve taken up hot yoga and Pilates to improve my flexibility and body-weight strength. My cardio needs works. My resting heart rate has increased too. I just need to remind myself that this journey is always a work in progress. If I’m not growing, I’m dying.
Anyway, that’s enough ranting for one day.
Signing off to get ready for yoga.
Tingyo aka Jade